#030 The Healing Pause | Ntseiseng Lephole

Ntseiseng Lephole, guest · [01:25]have taken a break before. That was way back in 2014, December 2014, so my break was in 2015. Why did you take that break? it was health reasons. So from 2013, I was diagnosed with a very hyperactive, thyroid. Between 2013 and 2014, it wouldn't respond to medication. I went through a lot in terms of, being hospitalized regularly, and then there was a, a scare of cancer as well on the thyroid, and around that time, there was also a brutal, restructuring, as you said earlier, at our organization, and, everyone literally had to apply for their jobs. And going into the operation, my doctors had already warned me that, after the operation, I need to manage my stress levels so that they can get me into the right dosage for my medication. so it was that, and also looking at the restructuring, I had about Five or six jobs that I could have applied for, but I imagined, going for one interview and being told you're not successful, and then another, and another, and another. So the, after the operation was in October, and the, the restructuring happened around that same time. So after the operation, then I decided to take the package, voluntary package, and, just take a break. Initially, I had thought that maybe after three months, I will start looking for a job, but 2015, I had also planned to study the master's in development finance with UCT. Once I started with my master's, I then realized that I actually do need a break. so I was on break for almost a year, ten, eleven months, while I was studying, and, I started looking for a job on the, I think the ninth month or so, and then I was lucky to get the first one that I went for an interview for. But yeah, that was the reason why.

Ntseiseng Lephole, guest · [05:45]I think at first I had to deal with my operation and going into a major operation, not knowing whether I have cancer or not, that, took over. And for that period, I didn't think of anything else except is there going to be cancer or not. And, in 2013, I had lost my aunt to cancer. so it was still like the, the, the scale of cancer, the reality of cancer was still like very new, for me. And, I'd also lost my cousin, who was, in fact, my cousin I lost in 2014 in December, she had leukemia and had her treatment at the Donald Gordon, Hospital as well. So with her, I had a, a very rough experience of cancer cause I was at the hospital every single day. I saw what she went through. In November, my concern was just my health. And, years we went through meetings with my, my boss and the other leadership team, and, I remember the first meeting after I came back from my operation, they had already started with the initial meetings with all the other staff, and when I came back, then they had a meeting with me, and, from that meeting, I made it very clear to them that I'm gonna take the package for health reasons. I explained to them what my doctor said, and they did accept that. So when the results eventually came back and there was no cancer, reality hit, then on the other side, that your living work was gonna happen. I remember I actually had applied for one position, and I was called for an interview, and I went for that interview, and I was like, if I get this job, maybe I should just get, take it or not. But something just kept telling me that you need the break. So after the interview, even before they came back with the results, I actually wrote an email to them and I told them, you know, I am taking a break, so please, rule me out for, for this position.

Ntseiseng Lephole, guest · [20:42]Like I say, it wasn't something that I really planned, but then as I look back, I realized that I did a lot of reflection. I came out of it saying, I need to take care of myself more. Work is work. You can do whatever you can do, what you're able to do. But I also came to the realization that you can never, ever at work say you have finished. Something. There is always, always something. It's important that you get time to rest. Even if you haven't finished a project at work, just take a breather, do an introspection, reflect, and get back to it, after you, you have rested. There is just no point in waking yourself to your death, and at the end of it, then you're feeling so fatigued, so tired, and you don't even have the time to do the things that you, you want to do that will make you come back refreshed, you are putting them aside. So having time for self, it's very important. In fact, last week, I was watching something on Instagram, and, the priest was saying, We put so much time on earthly things and wanting to do things and doing them right all the time, we never give ourselves time to rest. And, by the time we get time to rest, it's too late. Our bodies have taken the toll, and you may recover, but your body will never fully recover. And he said, you know, God, when he created earth, he worked for six days, and he rested for one day. Can we just practice that? If God could do that, why can we not do that? So tell yourself on Sundays, it's your rest day. You can work, even on Saturdays, yes, you do your personal stuff and everything, but Have time to rest. Do not go for a month, two months without resting, and then you're complaining how tired you are.

Ntseiseng Lephole, guest · [24:38]And I moved to another organization. Oh my God, didn't I get busy? And, that's where then my thyroid started acting up again because it was in Pretoria. I live in Joburg. It was so busy that at times I would leave work at 10 PM, driving back to Joburg. What do you do when you get home at 11 PM? All you need to do is shower, get into bed, and go to work the following day. And that's where I understood what my doctors meant when they said I need to manage my stress levels because I started getting sick. And my doctor kept saying to me, there is absolutely nothing I can do for you until you start managing your stress levels. I can give you all the medication I can, but if you don't manage your stress levels, There's nothing that I can do for you. And the moment that I managed that stress, I got another job and moved back to Joburg. I was weighing over a hundred Ks. My feet were swollen all the time. My iron deficiency was bad. magnesium, calcium, every, every time I did bloods, everything was just low. And my thyroid was either hyper or hypo. When I moved back to Joburg, the job I got was, normal hours, hardly ever working overtime. And, I started finding time to go to the gym. I started going back to walking and hiking here and there. And by the end of, that was in 2019, by the end of that year, I had lost so much weight. overall, I lost more than 20 Ks from what I was weighing, and then I started to see my health improving again, and, I was also eating healthy. I've never been a diet person going on diets. I was just eating healthy, and everyone complimented me. I started glowing. My skin went back to the smooth skin that it used to be, and I've never turned back. I started running in 2019 for the first time ever in my life. I don't do marathons, but I run like 3.5 to 5 Ks every day, and I've gone back to hiking. it's It's just amazing.

Ntseiseng Lephole, guest · [31:27]You know, I have created a routine on things like meditation, journaling, things that after our executive MBA program, I'm sure all of us, we thought this is how we're going to do our lives. But, along the way, they fall off. you get home in the evening, you're tired, and you're like, no, I can skip a day without journaling. And then it becomes two days before you know it, you have stopped. And I went through that. And, when I went to, so I did my Camino in Spain. When I went to Spain, I told myself, I'm going to spend that whole week journaling my everyday experience of my work every day. And, I created a theme for each day. And I did that, and I did meditation, and I came back, and I consciously told myself, I'm not gonna stop. I actually ended up buying so many journals. Yeah, I have a journal for my spiritual life, I have a journal for work, I have a journal for my normal day, and then I have a, a, a journal that has, mostly where you can color in and all of that. So either way, between the four or the five journals that I have, I have to at least once a day journal on any of them something that happens. And I realized that it becomes easier if you become conscious throughout the day on things that happen around you. Then in the evening, you're looking forward. To actually then say, I remember this happened, I'm going to write about it. Oh, it's spiritual because I felt God was talking to me. Then I go to my spiritual journal and I, I write about that. Oh, I met this very nice stranger and this person said this to me, you know, and then you go to your gratitude journal or whatever. So I have found that it's best or it's better to not just go through the day and just be swallowed up in the things that are happening, but become conscious of things that are happening. Taking a pause at times, and, if you are stuck at work, with a report that you are doing, just take a pause, go to the bathroom, look at yourself in the mirror, and just say to yourself, I'm still good enough.

Ntseiseng Lephole, guest · [34:13]You know, seeing that I took my break for health reasons, I would say it's very important for people that as you are taking care of all your other aspects of life, take care of your health aspect of life, as well. It's very important. Those annual checkups are important. I didn't know that I had a thyroid until my aunt that I said had a cancer passed on. She passed on in April 2013, and then around June, I went to my GP, and I said to my GP, I've told you about the history of cancer in my family. I've just lost my aunt to cancer, and, at that time, I was suffering from lots of migraines for years. I had even gone to the head clinic and I didn't get help. My gynae had suggested, that I put them in renal loop, and, I'm one person, I don't want anything foreign in my body, and I refused, but my migraines were hormonal. They will come at the end of my periods. And when my aunt passed on, her cancer was called R&B for short, I can't pronounce the full name, but it was, on the nerves next to the brain. And that's when I went to my GP and asked my GP to refer me to a specialist, and, he didn't hesitate. He referred me to a neurologist who then did the EEG, sent me for, MRI, and, they actually picked that I have lesions on my brain, that is my other risk cancer that I'm living with. And then This lady decided that she's gonna admit me in hospital to investigate those lesions further, but then she's also going to invite a whole lot of specialists so that they can have a full check on my body. And that's how my thyroid was discovered. had she not done that, had she ac- admitted me in hospital and just, invited a neurosurgeon, I wouldn't, probably I would be dead. The thyroid would have killed me. So it's very important to Manage your life holistically. Right now, even though, as I say, I'm at risk of cancer and cancers, I know which cancers I'm at risk of, and my doctors are on alert on those. They know the things that they need to check. I didn't know that, acid reflux, if it goes untreated, it can cause stomach cancer until I was under the hands of my doctors. So yeah, I would say it's important to take care of self and self holistically. So when you take those breaks, fit in a full body check during those breaks, that you are to make sure that health-wise you are still okay.