#032 The Thoughtful Time-Out | Gargi Mishra

Gargi Mishra, guest · [02:57]I did, actually the very first intentional break I took just when the COVID started, and that was the, like, deliberate sabbatical. And why did you take that break? So that's very interesting because when I took that break, just before that, I was not planning to take a break. I was in my flow because if you see my career is divi- can be divided into two decades. One very much focused in mining as exploration geologist, working across operation Angola, DRC, Botswana, and then pivoted, to the innovation space. So when I took the break, pretty much I was on my Like a full force flow. I was getting the traction, I was getting the work. So I was not thinking about the break that time because it was my time to shine in that space, which I just found my new niche, which was digital transformation. But then the COVID hit and I realized most of the companies and organization and as a whole, we were not prepared to understand what does it mean for a new world. And especially it took a lot of toll on women, especially working women with the family. And I realized I was working for 18 hour plus. When I say working, it's family work and professional work, but I was up for 18 hours for more than nine months. And then one day, just near my birthday time, my son, which was just turning three, he proposed that, we should buy a bed for me because he never saw me sleeping. And that was something like a trigger for me that I don't want to be a role model for my child who thinks that sleeping is That taking rest is bad. And he used to sometimes, say like that, that I don't want to sleep because mama never sleep. And that trigger just made me think this is not the way to pursue. And especially in lockdown, there was not much support system around. It made me to pause and say, okay, I'm going to take a break because we didn't know when the lockdown will over. So it's kind of a indefinite break and just pause. Okay, been there, done that. Now it's my time to just focus on my family and myself. And that was the reason I took a break.

Gargi Mishra, guest · [06:10]Initially, when I took the break, because it was just triggered with this conversation that you don't take a rest. And then when I look at myself at the mirror, I was looking tired, very old. And I realized I'm just like a robot, just ticking box things. So that time there was no so what moment for me. It was just, okay, I'm going to stop whatever I'm doing so that I can be with just 24 hour focusing on my family, my child, and remember what he's doing or saying. And then after few weeks and month, because if you are work colleague, you've been to work, you always start thinking. And then I, I start getting this itch that, okay, this work is good. I'm enjoying being full-time mom, but I need to do something else. So I start thinking about, was it really a good decision to take a break? But then I again, and that was my reflection moment. And then I sat down, I said, no, I needed this break. I don't want it to keep on doing what I was doing. Rather think about why I took this break. And it can't be just because I need to take care of the family and house. It has to be beyond that. And that's where I decided for seven, eight months, I'm going to focus Only on, upskilling myself into sustainability, decarbonization. So I did few course, online courses, but then also being very deliberate that I'm not going to accept any role coming my way or apply intentionally unless the role speak to me. And then start thinking about every day where as I was learning what I actually enjoy most. And I realized from last ten years, even though I was doing hands-on digital transformation roadmap, benchmarking, implementing, the part I enjoy most was looking into future trends and then bringing back them to life. So, but then I didn't have a word for it, what it really mean. And then I saw the advertisement by De Beers. It was pretty much the job which I was like enlisted, I want to do this. So it was very good alignment, and that was the reason I said, okay, this is the job, speak to me, so let's go back.

Gargi Mishra, guest · [09:32]Yes. like, because my break was so sudden. And because I love to read, I love to research, so I start reading about who other people have done this, or what are the framework or things I can apply. So coincidentally, I came across two books. One was Robin Sharma, Everyday Hero, and that book was kind of give me strength and be the pillar that whatever I'm doing, I can be a hero. I don't have to be executive leader to be a hero. so that gave me kind of a comfort and strength and bravery to do what I do. And then also I read, not necessarily the full book, but I read a script of the book from the Sally Buxton, Soul Sabbatical. And there were a lot of articles going around the same time. So that helped me to understand I'm not the only woman or only person taking this break. And because I love to track trends, I also start seeing there was this emerging trend in COVID work from anywhere, this no-bed lifestyle, and then millennial and Gen Z, how they work digitally, you know, they work few Instead they take a time off for their, what they want to do in life. So those things kind of inspired me that I'm not the only one doing it, and it's okay to take a break. Because traditionally as a woman, especially as Indian woman breaking into mine, it was always like that, if you go off, you're gone, you vanished. And I've seen some of the very successful women actually disappear, and one time in my life I used to actually say, we can put a billboard of the, you know, successful women who win top hundred women in mine, but where they are, and they take a break, and they somehow never bounce back. But in last five to six year, we see the different trend. Women are coming back, organization are welcoming, either it's BHP, Rio Tinto, even Google. This cross industry pollination, giving opportunity to you can take a break. So I knew that if I go off and I decide not to come back or back, it won't be a obstacle for me. I guess industry won't be stopping me. It will be my own decision.

Gargi Mishra, guest · [18:33]Making sure I exercise, whatever happen, so try to do all the seven days. I started, practicing yoga exercise, so joined the online classes. So because it's online, you have to show up, so being committed. So initially, like for example, in the break, I'm doing seven days. Now it can be four days, three days, but being committed that it's not going to go below four days, making sure I go for long walks. So those things which I picked up, and then also being very aware if I'm skipping meal, it's not suppo- like earlier when I used to work, sometime it will go hours without thinking about water, food, now being deliberate, putting those alarms, kind of using technology. So I track, how much I walk, how much I drink water. So using technology to keep me on track of what I was not doing. And it's interesting because these technologies were there, but it's just you were not aware of until you hit that rock bottom. So now being more aware of how I'm feeling, practicing mindfulness, and all those tools were around us. People talk about it, even, you know, if somebody say, will say, yes, be mindful of how you think, how you behave, how you eat, read, all those things. But now I think I've become more deliberate about it and being committed to myself that, yes, I'm going to do exercise, whatever. And, and funny enough, now I find the time because it's, I raise the awareness about it.

Gargi Mishra, guest · [22:03]I was pretty much into mindset that this is where I hang my boot, I'm not, never coming back. And the one reason I came back, of course, the time gave me thinking what I want to do, but then another push came again from the family in a different way. My mother-in-law, interestingly, she's, she and my husband were saying to me that they, I shouldn't fall into that trap that I want to work, but now because I made a decision not to work for family, I shouldn't go back, because then I will set a wrong example for my son. He will believe that this is the way women should be. So think carefully, trade carefully, do you really don't want to work, or you now want to settle? So don't go. Going to sacrifice mode, stay true to yourself, and I think that also helped me to rethink, and pivot me to this, space. Are you on another mini break right now? No, it's not a mini break in a, say, which I did for the health last time. It's more about the whole organization was going into restructuring, and I thought, do I, and, and as you know, when restructuring happen in any big organization, there are a lot of several mini alternate roles appear, which appeal on that time if you are in that space, but then I wanted to be Since I came this far, I built this thing, I wanted to be in the next space, which is a connecting dot to my career, rather than just opting for another job where, and because if I go for a job which is, I opt for it, but it was not aligned with what I built so far, it's very easy, I will fall into the trap where I was in, you know, five years, six years back. So I said, no, I'm, I'm taking a mini break, but it's not that I'm not actively seeking the opportunity. So in that way, it's different, but I'm very focused on what kind of opportunity I want, and then I also want to start Kind of pivot to the academic career. So in that way, seeking those opportunity, how to go and speak about foresight again. So I took a pause from public speaking. So I start doing some of that. Then I got the opportunity to contribute for two chapters for foresight for a upcoming textbook. So I thought it's a good time to start learning those skill, how to write better. So investing some time to learn writing a skill for academic writing and all. So it's intentional mini break, but it's not that I'm taking a six month or three months break. It's more about seeking the right opportunity.

Gargi Mishra, guest · [27:39]So I do advise other people when they say, I'm go- it's not going well, it's toxic environment, or I'm not feeling good in this place, I want to break because you did it, or some other person did it. So especially for young, professionals when they say to me, or they just want to be entrepreneur because it's cool to be, then I always advise that before you commit, make sure you financially plan for it. So at least you should have a six month or a one year buffer. You can plan your, start thinking about the lifestyle and how you're going to sustain yourself in that environment. Because even if you're starting a startup, you need to understand it's not going to start giving you paycheck from next, like three months. So learning about where, what you're going into, but then also expecting that this will bring change, not just you and, financially, it will also will change you as a person. So how you understand that and go into it, but Think carefully. In my case, even though my sabbatical, the first, the, the one which I call official sabbatical was very, sudden, but I was pivoting myself every few years and few months. So somehow I was kind of used to going in and out of these cycles and going to the different career. But still, if I look back, I will say it's always good to plan ahead, like deep think. And I think it's everybody is different, so everybody will have a different point. Interesting part is when I was listening to you is that we all kind of arrive on the same point, which is what you want to be, what you want to do with your life, and, with whom you want to share maximum time. And that's everybody's arrived to that point.